Just Ask Him Out: 7 Ways to Make the First Move

Can a girl ask a guy out? There is only one answer to this and it’s a very loud YES!

There should no longer be any debate about whether women can ask men out on a date or not.

Lady, if you like a guy, go ahead. Just ask him out.

Of course, the years, decades, and generations of being conditioned that men are the only ones to ask a lady out and that men are the ones in the ‘default suitor’ role can be hard to break free off.

It’s only completely understandable if you have some trepidation.

I am here to reassure you that it is ok to ask a guy out.

It absolutely is!

In fact, most men find it flattering when a lady asks them out

To help you along, here are seven ways you can make the first move…

Move #1 – Look at the signs

Does he laugh at your jokes, make eye contact with you, or touch you subtly?

You know the signs when a guy is interested in you.

What you need to do is pay attention when you’re with your guy and see if he’s displaying those signs.

Move #2 – Read his body language

If he’s leaning into you and mirroring your body movements, well, it’s looking like he’s interested.

Now, it’s not 100% certain, but usually when people mirror those that they’re into, that means they like them.

Also, you don’t lean into people that you don’t want near you because that wouldn’t be giving off the right sign. See what I mean?

Move #3 – Is he single?

I’ve spoken to a couple of guys, and then later found out they had a girlfriend.

What a great waste of time. I mean, I wouldn’t ignore them because they’re in a relationship.

But if I knew, I would have definitely cut the conversation shorter. What am I going to do with a guy who’s taken? Nothing!

So, make sure he’s not being friendly because he’s going home to someone else.

Move #4 – Show you’re interested

Show that you like him. If he’s showing the body language and signs that he’s interested, do it back.

Touch his arm, flirt, and make eye contact. Show that you’re interested.

But, there’s a line between interest and desperation, so be careful.

But duh, if you want to know how to make the first move on a guy, you have to let him know you’re interested!

Move #5 – Be Friendly, Keep it Simple, and Be Direct  

This is what I believe to be the best method for asking a guy out and that is simply – Just Asking.

Be your normal self and be friendly with him. Then ask him if he wants to go out.

Ask him out for coffee by saying, ‘Do you want to get a coffee together?’

Or you can ask him to join you for brunch on a Sunday or for a walk in the park.

There really is no need for frills and extra detail. Those might just end up muddying the waters and confusing him. Be straightforward.

If you are bold enough, you can approach him privately and say, ‘Hey, I really like you, do you want to go out with me sometime?’

If you are too shy to do it in person, you can do it over text message. Just ask him out! It’s that simple.

Move # 6 – Ask Him Out as a Friend

To make this less intimidating, you can ask a guy out as a ‘friend’. Not only will this take away the pressure of being on what is technically the first date…

… but it is also a great way to get your guy alone and to get to know him better.

If you share common interests like say, biking. Just ask him out on a weekend ride.

You can also ask him to join you on a hike. Or if you play a sport, say tennis, you can ask him to play a game with you.

If you know that he loves a specific sports team or a band, you can get tickets and just say that you have an ‘extra’ ticket you’d like to share with him.

If Move No. 6 still scares you, then this one might help.

Move # 7 – Ask Him on a Group Date

If the two of you are a part of a friend group, be it at work, at school, or at the gym… then a group event is perfect.

Ask him to join the group for drinks or coffee. And while out, be sure to cozy up to him. Get to know him.

If the mood is right… get your flirt on.

This way, you can get to know the guy outside of the usual places you’ve interacted with him.

It will also be a much more relaxed environment. Since you will be part of the group.

The two of you are not the only ones responsible for keeping the conversation going. No awkward silences here.

If at the end of the group date, you feel like you’ve hit off… you can continue communicating with them via text…

You can also keep low key flirting with him in person… if he still doesn’t get the hint… give Move # 5 a go.

No matter which of these moves you decide to follow, the important thing is that you just ask him out with confidence!

Remember, confidence is sexy.

He said Yes, What Now?

Congratulations! And also, you need a plan.

Nothing too elaborate, of course… If you are not doing an activity together, you can just ask him out for coffee or brunch.

Coffee and brunch are always good first date ideas.

Both are very low-pressure situations. You guys get some time to talk, just the two of you. If you don’t hit it off, you can just go your separate ways after.

If you do end up liking each other, then that coffee date can turn into dinner and maybe drinks.

Save the movie date and the other more elaborate dates for later.

What if He Says No?

If he says no, respect his decision. Move on. Do not keep going back and asking him again.

Rejection is a part of dating. There will be many other men. Trust me on this.

Do not let this rejection stop you from putting yourself out there.

Don’t feel embarrassed about it either. You shot your shot. At least you won’t be living with the ‘What Ifs’.

If you find a new guy you like… go ahead, and just ask him out too.

For all you know, the life partner you have been waiting for is just around the corner.

Here’s to happy relationships.

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